Its Brunch

What makes a city great? Is it the food, the attractions on offer, the weather, or the agglomeration of different cultures or is it something more abstract? As may have been clear by now, I enjoy moving around, going to small and big cities in my quest to see more and more of the world. I have lived in Atlanta for about 5 years now but have always found something missing. The city has great food, attractions, many different cultures, but somehow fails to ‘Wow’ me! On a trip this past weekend, I might have finally cracked what it is that’s amiss.

           

One of the first American Shows I watched outside of cartoons was Full House. For those who aren’t aware, the Olsen twins played the role of Michelle as an adorable 4 year old child in a loving family. The family lived in San Francisco. After about 10-15 years since I last watched that show, I had my first opportunity to visit the hilly city!

            

When you think of California, you think great weather, great food, and beautiful people among other things. Like NYC is its own entity so is California; Having not been to many cities besides LA which I thought was okay, I wondered if Californians were pretentious and had an air about themselves, well just because they were from California. San Francisco proved to me why the Bay area is such a desired area to be in.

            

A lot of my friends from college moved to San Francisco after graduation to pursue careers in the gigantic tech industry there. I was staying with a friend from Bombay, Tarush, who did his Bachelors from Carnegie Mellon. A shared interest for electronic music was bringing us together for this weekend as a new and upcoming sensation in the house scene, Alesso, was playing at one of the top venues in San Francisco, Ruby Skye. Ruby Skye is known to host some of the biggest names in EDM throughout the year. But just like my trip to Lebanon for TATW 400 (Above and Beyond’s Radio Show, you know by now), I experienced so much more during the course of my trip there; the music was just the cherry on top.

            

I got to SF around midnight on Thursday and proceeded to my friend’s apartment on Van Ness Street. He lived in a very spacious modern apartment geared to be a bachelor pad: Minimal furniture, comfy sofa and bed and a great sound system. We just spent the night catching up, planning for the day ahead. Planning for 4.20

          

Friday afternoon around noon we left the apartment to be welcomed by an unusually sunny and warm day by San Francisco standards. I think I brought the sunshine with me. First stop was Market Street and the most iconic building of SF, The Ferry Building. The wide complex houses many gourmet restaurants and stores selling food likes cured pork and organic honeys to chowder and oysters. To add to the goodness on offer, was a deck overlooking the SF bay flocked by seagulls. This was the perfect place to grab the first bite: An assortment of cured pork meats drizzled with a light vinaigrette dressing between a hearty bread. What a start.

            

After walking around a bit, I met up with another friend and I got to experience the hilly nature of SF. As we drove up Market Street, the roads went up and down in a very distinct way I haven’t come across anywhere before. We went to Hayes valley; a quiet neighborhood lined with boutique stores and artisanal cafes. My friend lived right above one in an old quaint building, in a small studio apartment with bay windows opening up to the trees beyond. It was quite the setting.

            

We proceeded to a beer garden around the corner which was packed 10 minutes after it opened at 3. We chatted about life, soaked in the beautiful weather and people watched. Tarush joined us soon after and we headed to another bigger beer garden called Zeitgeist. This place was even more bustling and we took up residence on an already crowded outdoor table with seemingly unassuming folks. What I hadn’t realized yet was what a close knit tech community SF is.  More often than not you can ask someone what they do, and the response would be as an engineer in a tech company. (Apple, Google, Facebook, Twitter, and many many not as well-known but equally important companies). The guy at our table worked for Google.

            

After another drink at a nearby Vietnamese restaurant we headed back to be joined by Evan in a few hours. He was flying standby and somehow made it out of Atlanta. The fearsome threesome was united, things were about to get real. We had already missed any real opportunities to eat dinner having meandered all day long, so we just proceeded to the clubs. First we went to a club called Temple, had a great setting but the music wasn’t great so we left soon thereafter. Vessel, the club we went to next, was a great time. The DJ knew how to get the crowd bouncing and 2 hours later, we walked out, shirts wet, hearts content. Some funny incidents on the way home included me embracing a Bank of America ATM because, “I love my bank” and us catching a live performance of a man drumming on empty cans, a light pole and buckets. It was time to call it a night..

            

Think of a time when you went outdoors, and the sun shone brightly and the gentlest of breezes tickled your skin; Day 2 was just that, idyllic. Believe it or not, one of the more defining things about SF is its brunch culture. Yes Brunch.  One wouldn’t think much of it besides that comfort Sunday afternoon meal which isn’t really breakfast but isn’t really lunch, not because of the hour its eaten at but because of the food in play. SF is where brunch was redefined. Irrespective of how much people drank the night before, on the weekend at 11 am, they all queue up at one of many brunch places, particularly, Lime. Located in Castro place, SF’s very obviously gay and vibrant area, Lime was like a day club. Hip tunes, a hipper crowd, brunch essentials like eggs Benedict and unlimited mimosas. I must say it was quite the experience. ‘It’s brunch’ was soon to become the tagline of the trip.

            

Once we got our pretentious fill for the day, we proceeded to do something more impromptu and one of my favorite things when discovering a city; walk about with no real agenda. Tarush pointed to the Twin Peaks (SF’s highest point) far in the distance and sometime between finishing brunch and seeing some stark naked men roaming in this district, we were on our way up the mountain. It was quite a trek, but what a great decision it was. I had already been noticing the different housing options around town from the modern apartment to the old studio, but this hike up the mountain provided a glimpse into what were to become my favorite living haunts in the city; Houses, big and small dotted the hill, all unique in their style, but similar in their use of windows that gave unparalleled views of the city below and the ocean in the far background. This was the kind of house Michelle lived in. This was the SF I had seen on TV.

            

The hike all the way to the top kept getting better and we were more and more convinced of how we needed to have a place here. After spending about 30 minutes at the top looking far down at where we started from, Evan and I (residents of Atlanta for 5 years, and visitors to many many cities in the world) realized why Atlanta didn’t attract us as much even after 5 years. To quote him he said, “It’s all about the experience here.” A seemingly simple statement clicked right away and it was true, Atlanta was missing the community vibe, collective activities that people did together. Tarush had already told me about many interesting festivals like the Love Parade wherein music trucks start in different parts of the city, with people dancing around them, finally meeting at the center. There was so much that worked for SF; whether being a port city, epicenter of tech firms, the resident’s love for music or just the simple fact that it was a walking city! In my experience any great city must be a walking city, and unfortunately Atlanta is too spread out to be one.

            

After contemplating life’s bigger questions, we headed home to get changed to answer a simpler much more pertinent question; what’s for dinner? In a place that was bustling with so many cultures, food had to be great and we needed to eat something special. Located in the Marina bay area, Fisherman’s wharf is SF’s answer to Seattle’s pike place market minus the local produce plus hundreds of restaurants serving up the catch of the day. It was hard enough picking one, but the anticipation for the food was even more tantalizing. I ordered the seafood chowder (Had that in Seattle too, direct comparison) and the bruschetta with Dungeness crab. Others had the mussels, a trio of fish fillets in a light sauce, and a seafood platter that included jumbo shrimps and scallops. The sauces and preparations were Italian…

            

There was to be yet another awe invoking moment before Alesso’s set itself. We headed to the Mariott Marquis’ bar called, The View. Located on the top floor, as I exited the elevator and looked around, I genuinely didn’t know what to say. Aptly called the view, there was a 360 view of the city from this vantage point in the sky. Dim lighting and low lying furniture added to the pure stark beauty that was, this view!

            

Unfortunately it was too crowded and we didn’t get to have a drink there but we proceeded to an Irish bar before heading to the headline event of the night – Alesso. I will not talk about that in this post since I could go on writing pages describing what that set delivered. One thing that is becoming clearer to me is that Electronic music is the truth and there is no escaping it. I don’t know of many other events where masses of humanity sway with joy the way they do at such gigs. If I were to pick a song to go with this post, to describe the feeling within, I would choose this.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNYL7-Tu6fQ ..

               

2 days was definitely not enough here. What a complete weekend it was. I got to catch up with some close friends, got a taste of local flavors, saw first hand things SF prides itself on, was taken on a musical journey and most importantly, I got to experience brunch! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2uE4P3P5sI

The end is near..

I wrote this is as an editorial for the newspaper.....


May 5th promises to be a monumental day in my life. It is the day I will walk alongside my peers, a huge crowd in attendance, the setting - overwhelming, the occasion - Convocation Spring 2012; the culmination of a journey that started about 5 years ago for a young boy from New Delhi. I will receive my Bachelors of Science in Mechanical Engineering from one of the most reputed and coveted schools in the world. Oh how I can’t wait.

One’s last editorial before graduation is meant to be a swansong; an ode about the ups and downs, the good times and the not so good times, the transformation from boy to man on the way to becoming a hell of an engineer.

Reflecting back, It has been a mind boggling ride, with my life’s hardest and most cherished moments having occurred at this institution. School (Primary through high school) had been full of memories, almost a stroll through the park, made possible by the countless friends I made and my parents who supported me through everything.
I was going about life worrying little about the next day, let alone about college. Everything happened quickly from there; I took the SAT’s because my friend asked me to. I got a good score, I convinced my mom, applied to some colleges, asked around a little bit and picked Tech, and soon was on a flight to the US; my very first visit.

I was clear about two things. One, I was going to make the most of my opportunity, get involved on campus and second, I was going to live life to the fullest. Soon, I found myself in a fraternity, on the board of India Club, taking leadership roles in AIESEC, working an on campus job and soon was also on my way to my first internship. Though this might sound typical of a college student, it meant a great deal to me as a foreign student for I was constantly having to adjust to the ways of the US, dealing with managing my emotions far away from home and all the while handling the difficult engineering curriculum. American culture is easy to assimilate into but is significantly different than any other. However, being an 18 hour flight away from home didn’t bother me as I was constantly engaged.

My life changed the summer of 2008. In a chance meeting with a stranger on a gorgeous sunny day on the rolling greens at the University of Nottingham in the East Midlands of the UK, I fell in love. What ensued was a cross cultural, cross country romantic story like no other. We were from different worlds, we were not meant to meet, but we did. She was to become the pillar, inspiration, motivation and support for the rest of my college life.

So much happened whilst at Tech. I got my first job, my first car, my first credit card! I worked hard, I enjoyed the companionship of my peers, I grew as a human being, I found mentors, I found brothers, I picked up skills, my brain sharpened, I studied abroad, I got a 4.0, I was part of a winning movie for CMF, I did a co-op, I travelled the world extensively, I had heartbreak. I picked up a minor, I met inspirational people, I made lifelong friends, I made the Dean’s list, I flirted, I found my love again, I became an Editor, I started to blog, I won the ME senior design competition, I got a full-time job with a consulting firm, I did undergraduate research, I got published, and then I also lost a friend.

I could spend days recounting stories and memories of these apparently unrelated events but there is an underlying thing that ties all of them together: I was never afraid to take on a challenge, whether it was academic, social or extracurricular. I constantly strived for more and more, and refused to settle for anything less than the best. I always believed anything was possible. As I mentioned before, besides my lady love, my friends were instrumental in keeping me upbeat, inspired and most importantly, dreaming big.

Personal change was inevitable. When I look back at the innocent boy from India that I once was, I feel overwhelmed at the thought of how one decision to pursue higher education in the US, far from home, brought about such telling and meaningful growth in me. Tech gave me everything; cherished bonds, innumerable memories, academic excellence, incredible values, grit, determination and most importantly, the will to succeed under the toughest of circumstances.
If I were to summarize in one line, into a sort of advice for younger readers, I would say, embrace Tech and everything that goes with college life. College years are the most formative, most memorable years of one’s life, and one should never have any regrets.

May 5th may be the end of my association with college in the traditional sense, but I will continue to be associated with my Alma matter that gave me such a wonderful launching pad. One of my dreams is to have the first President’s Scholarship by an Indian for international students such as myself. And now I will bid adieu with these fitting words. “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” – William Arthur Ward

The Power of Love

Tonight, the tears aren't stopping... Ironically, it's been a great night with friends. As I lay down in my bed, my safe haven, my emotions poured out; the heart bled..

I have put on a very calming radio station in the background and I want to say something, just anything..

Life has been very kind to me, things have always worked out. But it hasn't been without it's share of challenges...

I choose to be happy, ever smiling, because life is beautiful..

We are all born into loving families. Grow up with friends around us, and if we're lucky, have significant others. It is human nature to always find happiness elsewhere: a thing, a place or a person. The unfortunate reality is that at the end of day, we are all our sole guardians...

Ever since I can remember, love has been my preferred weapon to fight any situation. In fighting amongst family or friends, I always reciprocated with a true gesture of the heart...

It takes real courage to stake one's heart and lay it out in the open. Many a person is too afraid of being hurt, of not getting their love returned; What a pity, since the most human growth happens when experiencing the pain..

Love conquers all; I am a firm practitioner and believer of the philosophy. Equipped with such an all encompassing tool, I feel invincible, stronger than the strongest of men. Nothing can touch me, for I have gambled with the best hand..

Above and Beyond are my favorite dance musicians. I connect with their songs on an all together different level. Group Therapy as they like to call their concerts, are truly a liberating experience. Lyrics to a song go.." Don't forget about a thing called Love.." . The crowds sway, the sounds reach the skies, the eyes close... It's Group Therapy! :D

I feel privileged being the recipient of the love of so many! I would not trade it for anything else..

They always said life was full of challenges, throwing surprises out of nowhere. It's been quite a challenge, quite a ride, but I've loved every moment of it. Happiness isn't measured in material wealth but rather in the richness of human interaction..

I'm not sure what prompted this today.. Maybe it's whats happened recently. Maybe it's the fact that I've had to keep a strong front, smiling to keep the spirits of friends high. Whatever it is, I feel thankful for those in my life. You know who you are..

A perfect end maybe.. "Love isn't there to make us happy. I believe it exists to show us how much we can endure." - Herman Hesse

Call, email, or text someone you love, telling them you cherish them.

Goodnight

When you lose somebody...

March 11th would have been just another Sunday; lazing around the house with my roommates, preparing for the week ahead, performing household chores; But one phone call turned my world upside down, making Sunday, March 11, the most unforgettable Sunday of my life.

The last few weeks have been a blur. The passing away of our beloved friend was met with sheer disbelief. Within a matter of 30 minutes of finding out the news, about 20 near and dear ones were gathered at my place. The silence was deafening. What an irony that the very same house that had been the place of joy and celebration the day before for a 'Holi' celebration became a place of mourning less than 24 hours later...

Everything after that was an emotional roller-coaster. Calls were made, received from all over the world; shock was the underlying emotion. Everyone took each other under their wings, tears, many tears were shed...

We go through life thinking we know how to react to and tackle the hardest of situations. It's one thing knowing what to do and another when actually faced with one. This was new to almost all of us, we didn't know what to do; whether to piece the story together or to cry or to blame someone or to be there for each other.

I don't think I cried properly till the day of the funeral. On entering the funeral home, I saw a slideshow of images, of Akshay smiling, laughing and being himself. Not being one for crying in public, even though I have always embraced tears, something gave way, and I bled my soul for a person who had made a lasting impression on me.

Akshay Goil, what happened man? What about the countless plans we had together?

I made the decision to see him after much internal debate. Did I want to see him in his final state and have that stick with me or keep that cheerful face in my head...

I walked up to him, his face serene, his body still; How I wish you woke up then and said something...

During that week which seemed to last a lifetime, we had to be there for the family. What unfortunate circumstances we met under, but it seems like we all found a new family in them...

Tears are wonderful. Pain is beautiful. My favorite song across genres and languages has lyrics that go something like this.. "Dil hai toh dard bhi hoga, dard hai toh dil bhi hoga." (If there is a heart there must be hurt, and if there is hurt there must be a heart). It's an emotion that lays a man bare, weak, and vulnerable. We were all, all those things..

Life has seemingly come back to normal, but I find myself walking around on campus, seeing him everywhere I was used to seeing him. Time is a healer they say, and I am sure it is but today after about 3 weeks, I just feel like saying, I really miss you Akshay Goil...


I had never experienced death up-close before. Had never thought of how I'd react to it or what I would feel. I might not know it yet, but an incident like this changes ones perspective on many things. The emotions are still raw and the memories fresh. A small part of me still thinks he will show up at my doorstep someday soon. I guess, all these feelings are part of the process.

How long should one grieve? Is it wrong to move on? To smile and proceed with life? There was an emptiness within, I wanted to unload my emotions... Taking a few moments to let the thoughts flow uninhibited worked wonders. To face whatever emotion surfaces at the thought of what happened is crucial to arrive at the acceptance..

Tomorrow is another day. Today is about to be history. Must not dwell in the past, yet must always carry Akshay's memory into the future!

A blueberry in a tomato soup

This piece isn’t about a new gastronomic creation or a trendy new bistro in town but is about a city. A city that has a vibe extraordinaire, a city that prides itself on its hippie influences, a city that has the calm but also the storm, a city that bleeds burnt orange; Austin, Texas.

My American travel endeavors had taken me to cities in Florida, in the south, to the East coast, to the west coast, to the big easy, but never to Texas; A state that in itself is 20% the size of India by land mass. So when the opportunity presented itself to make a visit and meet a friend, I wasn’t going to let that pass.

Narayan Bhargava, a fellow globetrotter (Though for business reasons not exploration, sorry Narayan) went to University of Texas in Austin (UT) and graduated last year. Presently he spends half the year in Houston working and makes trips to Austin to visit his Alma matter and the soon to be introduced mad bunch or what they like to call themselves, the residents of “The Casa des Los Indianos.” ™ He had been egging me on to visit Austin while I was working for Delta and for some reason or the other, I could never make it happen. But I didn’t forget the offer.

I was picked up at the Airport on Friday evening by 2 of the bunch, Neil (Made an epic Mardi gras trip last year with him) and a guy named Mihir that I hadn’t met before. Narayan was still on his way from Houston. On the ride home, the usual chit chat was followed by history of UT and a short tour of the college campus. The iconic UT tower was lit up burnt orange and looked magnificent from all directions. The tower is lit up in the school’s colors whenever they win a game in any sport or on other important occasions like graduation…

‘The Casa des Los Indianos’™ was what you would expect from a house with 6 residents and anyone else welcome any time; Bodies everywhere, half drank plastic bottles, solo cups, take-out food strewn around as part of the house décor. Not only were there a lot of people but everyone had 2 or 3 names making it just a bit confusing for me. First stop: Trudys for dinner and Mexican Martinis.

Trudys with its indoor-outdoor setting, hipster waiters and a deadly martini was a great way to start off the night. The crowds were loud, the drink was sweet but potent and the inside jokes kept flowing. The waiters would not serve you more than 2 Mexican martinis, so go figure. Another interesting situation I found myself in was the fact that most of the group was vegetarian. I was the meat eating minority for the first time. It didn’t bother me but I was just surprised at how such a big group of vegetarians became friends. Wonder if the love of Tofu brought them together?!

The big attraction for the night was 6th Street; THE 6th street rather. Austin is the capital of Texas and a big portion of the population is either affiliated to UT or has moved from elsewhere for work. At the heart of downtown is a street lined with bars on both sides, that has the city descend on it in the evenings. The street is distinctly divided into West six, the classier slightly elder crowd and the ‘Dirty Six’, visited by the rambunctious college crowd. As we approached ‘Dirty Six’, I could already see why Sixth Street in Austin is one of ‘THE’ places to party in the US. An atmosphere like no other, there were people everywhere, laughing, singing, dancing, having the time of their lives. Drinks were cheap, bars were plenty and the crowd was in a mood to party. We visited a few bars and that was enough. What a vibe, what a place! New Orleans Bourbon street isn’t as fun as this! Yes I just said that.

A visit to the local doner place, ‘Kebabalicious’, impromptu singing sessions at home and a few controversies later, it was time to call an end to the night. The 10-11 of us found a nook, or a corner or a couch…
Day 2 in Austin and it was Sunny and gorgeous. The sun beating down, the incredible fauna and flora in and around the campus gleaming, we started the day by visiting a trailer restaurant. Trailer restaurants are quite a rage in Austin and that’s where the hip crowd grabs a bite. Nomad Dosa was a vegan twist to a very popular South Indian rice crepe; A friendly staff, trendy patrons but disappointing food. Sahil’s (Another protagonist) blue litmus test, the masala dosa, didn’t impress. The Mexican coke made from real cane sugar was a refreshing taste.

One thing that was apparent already was that it felt like I was part of a sitcom. The 10-12 characters that went in and out of the house had their quirks and made this ‘show’ worth being part off. They had all been warm and welcoming the night before, but that ended when the house Hookah was lit up. Like wild piranhas, all decency and hospitality was thrown out the window, as they grabbed, prodded, and sometimes insulted for the pipe of the Sheesha. To prevent bickering over this, they visit one of two Sheesha bars, Kasbah (Middle Eastern influences) and Arab Cowboys (Grunge feel). And they visit a lot.

Mihir and a few of us decided to drive around on this beautiful day while the others ate. Austin was lush and the wide panoramas offered great views. We drove up to the 360 bridge that offered unparalleled views of the surrounding area and Downtown in the far background. We hiked up a rock face hanging over the calm waters of Lake Austin below and the bridge to our left. We sat, and we took it all in.

A beautiful day such as this wasn’t going to be wasted indoors. We went to a place called Abel’s by the lake; A gorgeous patio over the lake Austin, and 60 beers on tap made this an ideal setting for a ‘kick back and relax’ sort of day. We bathed in the sunshine and I tried my first Texas Tea. Whatever it was, it was delicious. Refreshing, sparkling and a wide array of alcohols meant it wasn’t just a tasty treat.

On the way back, I got a tour of the campus; the business school, the engineering school, frat houses and everything. The Longhorn Stadium (UT football team’s stadium) with a capacity of 100,000 people is the sixth largest stadium in the world. UT is similar to Georgia Tech, a campus within a city. However it is much bigger.

In the evening, there was supposed to be a House Party for Shitij’s birthday (Sahil’s brother and another resident). The bunch got to work to tidy the main space for the party. The mess was cleaned, but merely moved for the most part. Many took naps, went and grabbed food and of course got their daily fix of Sheesha. Night was upon us.

The party began slowly and in parts. Other characters joined the existing bunch and a great night ensued. There was Simi, who smashed the birthday cake on Shitij’s face and then left with ego hurt, when taunts were made at his inconsideration. There was Colleen, Shitij’s girlfriend and person responsible for bringing the other two white girls to the party. There was Kasim from Pakistan, who was hell bent on playing Punjabi music for every-time he took a big swig of the tequila. And there was dancing!

Jokes aside, I had a splendid weekend made possible by the very warm and hospitable bunch. They made me feel very welcome and took it upon themselves to show me a good time, to give me a feel of all things Austin. There was controversy, there was drama, there was mayhem, but there was a great friendship that bound them together despite the madness…

Sunday was spent reminiscing over 6 hookahs between 10 people at Arab Cowboys. The sun shone even more brilliantly and I felt sad at the thought of leaving. I got to experience Austin thoroughly in my few days there. The blend of relaxation and partying was reflective of the city itself. Served crazy or calm, as per the heart’s desire.

Many asked me if I found it better than Atlanta or if UT was better than GT and I said it wasn’t right to put me in that position. To ask me to compare my beloved home, my Atlanta of 5 years with this new vibrant city that had embraced me for a weekend was not fair, almost outlandish. Though I didn’t answer that question then, the blue dot in the red state that is Austin, features in my list of cities I’d like to own a home in one day; New Delhi, London, Cape Town and now Austin.

The modern day relationship

Society, we all complain, isn’t the same anymore. There is always a shortage of time, technology has infiltrated all realms of our world and relationships are viewed very differently.

As a young adult who grew up in this changing world, I have seen the idea of relationships evolve. I am old enough to have heard stories of and seen movies of lovers having to wait weeks, months and sometimes even years to hear from each other because of the distances, limited communication methods and the lack of technology as we know it today. On the flipside I am also young enough that I have been a part of this wave of change that has given birth to the modern day relationship.

The internet was a huge breakthrough for mankind. Information from anywhere was available anywhere else instantly. E-mail was even bigger, people being able to send virtual letters to others with immediate access. Then came chat, video conferencing, social media, smart phones, cloud computing, etc. etc.

I still remember how my parents were flabbergasted when I wanted to get a mobile phone (cellphone) in 10th grade. I had held back the urge to ask for one until I saw every one of my peers in school get one. After much resistance and furor they eventually relented, making it very clear how big a deal it was and how much responsibility the phone brought with it….

Soon after I met Sana in England, I was back in India and she was still in England. Having just met an incredible girl, the only means I had to foster any relationship with this person was through the plethora of options available via the web. We started off by exchanging facebook messages. These messages kept growing in length and we would eagerly await the other person’s message every morning as we woke up. Soon we added to our daily facebook messages, msn chat (Instant messaging or IM), helping us talk in present tense. We had our first cross country phone call and soon added another dimension to our ‘relationship’: Skype. Little did I know at the point that Skype was to single handedly change my life…

As me and her continuously moved countries, she went to Pakistan then to Saudi Arabia. I went from India back to the US, our communication only picked up in intensity and volume. Despite the vast time differences and cultural differences of the places we were in, on the web nothing mattered. Our facebook messages had reached monumental lengths and had become a treasure trove of memories in themselves, 6-8 hour skype sessions abound, emails, g-chat’s, you name it we did it.

Over the course of the next few years I was to meet Sana about 7-8 times and the rest of it was a virtual long distance relationship. People asked me many times how I did it and though I do agree that we both put a lot into the relationship, at the end of the day the ease of access to modern technology had a major role in aiding our long distance love.

During this phase, facebook and twitter became hugely popular and smartphones i.e. Iphones, blackberry’s, Android’s became common place. Phones came with App’s for mail, chat, skype and what not. Technology was being integrated like never before. You were getting email on your phone, on your tablet and if you hadn’t still been able to check it, it was there on your traditional laptop or computer. 2G came, 3G came and now we have 4G.

What I soon started to notice was that the traditional phone call had become rather rare. I had unlimited texting but the lowest amount of minutes on my phone plan myself. We were updating our statuses, tweeting before things happened, bbm’ing (Blackberry’s messenger service), texting, but we were hardly interacting with each other in the traditional manner. On any given birthday, you could find hundreds of generic “Happy Birthday” messages on someone’s facebook. Yet at the same person’s birthday party, with the same people attending, there were long moments of awkward silence and fidgeting with phones. Was the art of conversation dying? Had we gone so overboard that we didn’t know how to interact with one another without technology?

I downloaded an app on my iphone called ‘Words with friends’. It’s like scrabble and you can play with friends who have the app or through facebook. You make a move and then wait till the other player makes a move. This can happen over a few hours, days or even weeks. It’s quite nice actually. The app has an interesting little feature wherein you can chat with the person you are playing the game with. I found this interesting because even within a game there was a little chat feature and I actually found myself having some real conversations with my friends including someone who told me they were quitting their banking job in New York to move to New Delhi to pursue Indian classical dance.

My initial skepticism to this overload of technology dialed down a little when I discovered an app called ‘What’s App’! It’s a cross platform messenger service (Iphone, Android, blackberry etc.) that you can download on your phone and uses the internet to send messages. However it is linked to your phone number so wherever you might go, it still recognizes you as the user. I myself am perplexed about some of the nuances of this app. I started using the app because some of my friends are based outside the US and me being a lover of instant texts/messaging found this a great outlet to talk with these people. What I noticed very soon was that having something like ‘what’s app’ made me share many more things with these same people. With the time differences and the effort it takes to make a phone call, I found it easier to leave messages on ‘what’s app’ and engaged in deep, meaningful conversations across the globe that I was earlier saving till when I met them once or twice a year.
It was one particular incident that made me realize the power of these tools. In a period that spanned 12 or so hours starting with me attending a party, sleeping, waking up early to go to work, going and working on my project with my team, catching up with a friend, getting lunch and then ending up in my room, I found myself engaged in an altogether different conversation with a friend in India. At no point did this person know about what all I was doing but it made me realize that I was able to have a conversation without any distractions so as to speak. Wasn’t that the art of communication anyway; to give one your undivided attention and be an attentive listener? Had technology been an enabler in a weird way in this case?

As I moved from Atlanta to Beirut to New Delhi to Singapore, I was always connected. Sharing videos, pictures and messages of my experiences almost immediately with the people I cared about. I also started using Skype on my Iphone and noticed how that opened up a completely new realm of communication for me. What I was losing in terms of distance I realized could be made up for if technology were used to its true potential.

I caught up with a friend of mine in New Delhi and a conversation with him instilled my faith in what I feel is the way forward for relationships in this global world. This friend of mine hops between Mozambique, Houston and New Delhi on business through the year. He recently met a girl through a friend of his and like me started talking to her on ‘Words with Friends’. Once they realized they were exchanging paragraphs and paragraphs they moved their conversations to g-chat (Gmail’s chat service). Once that wasn’t enough, they started using what’s app (The girl was in Singapore all the while). Over the next 5 months, without ever meeting, they opened up to each other like they hadn’t to anyone else and chatted for hours on end while they went about their independent lives in very different lands, disconnected by distance but connected by technology. Over a breakfast meeting in Delhi when they finally met, it took all his courage to stammer his feelings to her. As of a few weeks ago, they started dating!

When I heard the story, it made me extremely happy. It felt great to hear another story like mine. To know that relationships could be fostered despite distances. Despite the advances in technology, relationships will still require the same things they did before. Time, effort and care are key ingredients to successful platonic and romantic relationship that have remained the same over decades. Only the means seem to be changing.

Today we live in a world where it is almost impossible to find oneself disconnected from the world. Technology is too seamless and well distributed for us to be able to make excuses of a lack of time and means. Now more so than ever, we can easily stay in touch with those we care for!

In the golden days of Indian film, they showed female protagonists waiting years for their lovers to return from war or far off work assignments. Their love was unadulterated, infinite and relentless but the ecstasy they received in reunion is something I feel envious about. It is hard to imagine not communicating with the beloved people in our lives for that long isn’t it? Relationships are not the same anymore, they never will be! However we all still pine for them and cannot make any excuses of distance or time for not pursuing healthy, meaningful and deep friendships!

My flight lands in an hour and I hope to text a friend when I land, share a photo with Sana in Saudi, what’s app my business partner in Delhi, leave a facebook message for my cousin sister returning to Sydney and email the friends I met in Singapore a few days ago! Multiple individual relationships spanning different places and people, this is the very essence of what I am talking about!

The Perfect Country?!

$1000 fine for spitting, $100,000 for cutting a tree, life imprisonment for possession of a gun; Sounds like quite the idyllic place right? In fact the one city country, Singapore, seemed just that!

On my way back to the US for my last semester at school, I decided to fly back eastwards from India, stopping in Singapore for a day. What a splendid decision it turned out to be!

Flying on a poorly managed overnight Air India flight from Delhi to Singapore, I was at least thankful that the flight was empty and I got 4 seats to myself to sleep on. The decision to fly to Singapore was a sudden one and the last time I did something on a whim was when I went to Lebanon. Though I had a great time, the Lebanese weren’t the most efficient or hospitable people I have met in the world.
I was landing in Singapore without a plan or hotel room. Getting past immigration, I picked up my bag and looked around to find a place to book myself a hotel. Very conveniently located in the main atrium at Singapore’s Changi airport was the hotel reservation desk and the kind lady was chatty and helped me find a hotel, that according to her was, “The best deal of the day.” A very convenient shuttle service for 9 SKD (1USD=1.3SKD) took me straight to my hotel in an area called Tanjor Pagar, close to Chinatown and the business district. The driver of the little bus was happy to have a person to talk to and we chatted about Singapore’s attractions, its strict rules and the like. The lesson to learn was, “If you have money Singapore is the best country, if you don’t its hell.” I wasn’t too sure about that.
It was still only 10 am when I reached the hotel and was able to get an early check in; +1 to Singapore efficiency and hospitality. The room was indeed “the best deal” for the price I paid. It had all modern day amenities, a plush bed and a lavish bathroom. I figured I’d nap before I hit the streets as I wasn’t planning to sleep at night…

Once ready I took a cab to the famous Orchard road known for its shopping and crowds of people. The cabbie dropped me at a shopping complex called Takashimaya. En route I had already been impressed with the ‘automated toll taker’ installed in every car, bike, truck in Singapore for when vehicles were entering zones which were tolled so as to speak. The Orchard road area was tolled and the cabbies couldn’t just drop passengers anywhere but had to do in designated areas.

Takashimaya was a multileveled mall with top end brands attracting tourists and locals alike. There was definitely a bustle here. As I walked out the other end of the mall, I was on Orchard road. I could see shops and malls as far as I could see. One thing that is very striking about Singapore is the greenery around. There are tall trees, gorgeous floors and well-manicured plants everywhere you go. This road was no different. Walking amongst the crowd, the one thing I was on the lookout was for some local fare. My friends had told me to find hawker stands and food courts that served all sorts of delicious treats. Singapore is home to Malaysians, Chinese, Thai, South Indians and thus local cuisine comprises of the best and most wonderful of foods from these lands. In a small shopping center I saw a little food court with 3-4 restaurants. I didn’t want to waste any more time and got straight to eating. I ordered what looked like strips of really moist and soft chicken on a bed of very fragrant rice. The meat had been sliced from boiled and baked chickens that were hanging whole at the tiny restaurant. The simple meal, accompanied by a very tangy spicy sauce was delicious and cost only 3.5 SKD. I drank what was a green tea iced tea infused with condensed milk.

As I was exiting this little shopping center, an Indian man in a garment store caught my attention and I found myself in a suit store. The next thing I know I was amidst a very serious sales effort from the man from south india, named Adam. I had promised myself I wouldn’t shop but found it almost impossible to resist a great deal on a tailored suit. Every time I tried to exit the shop the salesmen would slash the price and lure me right back in. My resistance was meek and in my mind I reasoned that I needed to buy 1 suit and 5 shirts for when I start my job!

A few hours spent negotiating and selecting what I wanted to buy had gotten me hungry again. On a recent food visit to Chandni Chowk in New Delhi, my aunt and I had tried the small plate concept, sampling little portions of food at multiple locations in the process being able to try a variety of things. I was keen on doing the same and came across another, larger open air food court on Orchard road. My eyes fell on a guy selling soup. I ordered myself a meatball soup. He placed two big pieces of lettuce, some spring onions, poured a hot clear soup on top and put in the pork meatballs. This was a very light and flavorful meal and I devoured it down observing the locals around me enjoying the fare as much as I was.

It was dusk now and I wanted to go to the Marina Bay area for what I was told would be great views of the skyline. I took a bus from where I was and was impressed by the order and efficiency. Display boards at the bus stop displayed arrival times for every bus, commuters swiped a card when they got on and swiped it again when leaving, and everyone respected each other’s space.

The Marina building is a might impressive building that has three towers with a ship like structure going across on top. “Shopping at Marina Bay’ was a beautiful looking mall with highly aesthetic interiors, an artificial lake with boats running at the lowest level and countless people enjoying an evening out. As I exited the mall on the other side from where I entered, I was met by a fabulous view of the Singapore skyline across the river. On my side, hundreds of people were gathered to watch a light and sound show being projected on a spray of water just beyond the deck. The projections, lasers and the dance of the fountains with the dramatic background in the back made this a wonderful scene. Locals had come out with families and were lying down and sitting down on the sprawling two leveled deck overlooking the show.

I managed to get a round of dumplings and an interesting mango shrimp fried snack at the mall before I left. After marveling at the architecture around a bit more I headed to my hotel on the metro. The metro just like the buses and the taxis was equally efficient and easy to use. You could recycle your metro card once you got off to get the 1SKD deposit (Part of ticket price) back. Very clear indications on the track and in the train ensured you couldn’t miss your train even if you tried. Singapore has very strict rules and is very harsh on offenders. I was starting to believe that this was a good thing as people enjoyed and respected the land a lot more as a result.

My flight out of Singapore to Japan was at 6 am and I had decided not to sleep. After freshening up, I made my way to the famous Clark Quay. I was starving by now and was looking forward to getting a good local meal. It is hard to describe Clark Quay. It was the area with all the bars/clubs and fun spots. The place was bustling with people of all age’s criss-crossing each other hopping from pub to bar to club. Sheesha bars, international cuisine, live music, you name it and this place had it. The center of the entire area had this fascinating fountain and imposing structure. Had I been here on any other night I would have been overjoyed but I was looking to get local fare and this was not the place for that. After a while of looking around I decided to get a beer at a pub. Oh all of Singapore I was told by one of the cabbies, loves Manchester United or MU as they call them fondly. Watching the game and sipping on some beer indoors a live one band came on. After enjoying a few songs I decided to move to another bar called Octapas; cleverly named as it served Spanish finger foods called Tapas.

The ambience here was better and I decided to cave in and ordered a plate of toast with goat cheese and serano ham with a pint of Tiger beer. The live band here was belting hits by lady gaga, U2 and Santana. Now over the disappointment of not finding the food I desired, I moved to another bar that had a very colorful rickshaw parked outside called Singapore Sling. This bar was empty barring one table inside. I perched on one of the tables with a long island iced tea as the singer of the band playing welcomed me to Singapore. As I sat and listened to her gorgeous voice, a boisterous group joined; Shyam, Raj and Michael, all Singaporean, the first two of Indian descent and the later of Chinese descent. They were locals at the bar and the singer was pleased to see them. What ensued thereon was a hilarious night. The three took a liking to me and started to chug drinks amongst themselves, slow dance with each other to John Mayer, and voicing their feelings loud and clear.

After a group photo with the lead singer (Sheesh I forget the name of the band), they took me to a club called ….. The club had a stage with a hip hop band singing everything from David Guetta, Justin Beiber to Jay Z. It was pretty hilarious. The group seemed to know the entire management as we took our first drinks with much of the staff. I had my first green tea and whiskey. Sounds odd but was surprisingly good. Sort of like the red wine and coke I had in Spain. The drinks kept coming and the emotions were high as the mighty Raj (he was big built) kept fist pumping me with all his might. After an hour or so I realized Raj had lost his friends and was really not in his senses. It was also time for me to go pick up my stuff and head to the airport but I decided to drop Raj home as he was in a bad state. If I remember correctly in a very odd moment, Raj sitting at the back, growled like he had been all night and bit of some of the seat! It was bizarre. It was raining hard and I the cabbie was occupied in an interesting conversation with me so he didn’t pay attention then.

I made it to the airport in time, hungry, tipsy and very satisfied. Singapore had been amazing. I had taken an instant liking to this small, diverse and rule loving country. A quarter of the 6 million Singapore population comprises of foreigners and expats and I can understand why. There is really something for everyone here. It is a hidden gem amongst the Asian giants. As I hear stories about young professionals working in different cities around the world and ponder over my future as well, it wasn’t hard for me to see a life here for a few years. I have been able to visit many countries and cities in the last few years and I have to say Singapore ranked high amongst my favorites London, New York City and Cape Town in terms of livability.

So if you need a tailored suit at a good price, I bet my friend Adam over on Orchard road in Singapore would be more than happy to make you a sale! “My friend, we go to god empty handed, spend today, get this great suit,” Adam said. Sold!