Tuesday, May 1, 2012

When it isn't black or white anymore..

I am growing up and so is everyone around me. A dear childhood friend of mine who I have known and loved since kinder-garden is getting married this December. I couldn't be happier for him. I am graduating in a few days and I couldn't be happier for myself! 

I recently read a book called Persepolis; It was a serious book written in the form of a comic with events described as seen by  a 9 year old child girl growing up in Iran in the early 1980's. For those who don't know the significance of this time, it was the time of revolution in the country when there were a lot of political changes and much blood was shed. What I loved about the book was how perceptive the little girl was and how she saw the world; in black and white...

I am very naive. I am fond of almost everyone I meet and have a hard time taking sides. I have always been this way and as a result have been lucky to form a special bond with many from different races and backgrounds...

I am like the girl from Persepolis in that I take things for what they are. To me something is right or wrong, black or white, no gray in the middle. I don't play games. I don't like playing games..

Lately, I have started to realize that my approach and perception is unique. Most people don't see things that way and tend to hang on the fence with many issues and conversations. This idea is foreign to me and I find myself puzzled, confused and at times disturbed..

I believe my outlook gives me the liberty to speak my heart at all times without fear of any consequences. It gives me the power to be myself, all the time. It's like a drug, giving me the high that no substance could.

Over the last few years, I have been thrown off by the actions or rather lack of actions of many folk. Earlier, I used to rake my brain to understand the reasons for their odd behavior and  at times find answers but would soon find myself trying to crack some other puzzle. Was it worth it? Maybe. It helped me understand the psyche of people and most times I realized the core problem was the same. Humans by nature are non-confrontational. Putting up a tough front is merely a shield for the weak and timid person within. I don't like confrontation either, but confrontation isn't always ugly or negative by nature. It's merely an expression of one's feelings... I might not understand the other approach but I continue to be an open book for I don't know any other way..

The more I observe the human phenomenon around me the more I realize how complicated humans are and how warped their minds get. I have always been genuinely happy for the successes of my friends and acquaintances just like I have been sad during their losses. I feel a part of their lives that way... Unfortunately, barring a few, others are not able to reciprocate the happiness the same way during my highs. But that's true of humans all over isn't it? It's hard for them to genuinely rejoice with even their closest ones unless the matter of jubilation isn't perceived by them as a threat to their goals and aspirations. How sad! We miss out on so many small and big occasions in each others lives because we are too caught up over-thinking something, or feeling envious or cursing our luck...

As we grow up and become more wise, we also become more tactful and clever in the way we interact with people. Everyone is considered guilty unless proven otherwise and not the other way around. What happened to the simpler times of youth when  a spade was called a spade. Going back to Persepolis and the little girl, it was such a refreshing read. There was no agenda, no preconception, no bias, but simple observations of the happenings around. It was so powerful, it was so meaningful!

I read something great the other day. It was a speech made at a commencement ceremony at some university. The orator of the speech urged people to go and 'love someone'. Not be loved but love someone. Loving someone wholeheartedly without holding back is one of the purest feelings. It's the kind of love you don't expect anything in return for. It's one of the hardest things to do, but its beautiful. It makes the senses come alive.. 

As I prepare for graduation, I expect a sense of pure exuberance to erupt from deep within and manifest itself into song, dance, smiles and a lot of love. As I close a memorable chapter of my life and embark on another journey, I make it a point to keep my head clear of any ill feelings and cherish each moment, each interaction for what it is. Life seems to be more an endurance challenge than a 100m dash. So stop, take a moment and don't neglect what's really important!